tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56668196875094931462024-02-07T21:51:35.031-06:00turquoise & loveturquoiseandlovehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09120856126399424544noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-80415940704727557182015-01-04T13:51:00.000-06:002015-01-04T13:51:02.402-06:00Bronson's Birth Story<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Bronson Timothy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 9, 2014 (41-42 weeks)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7:18p </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10lb 1oz</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">21.5" long</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Sept 30</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">went to the chiropractor to see if my pelvic was out of line. It was BIG time and had a lot of intense contractions the rest of the day</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had not had an ultrasound yet so were still unsure of my exact due date. My midwife, Sandra had me past due already so she suggested we go for an Ultrasound to get an inside look and make sure nothing was keeping the baby from staying engaged and starting labor.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 3</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Family trip into Houston for an ultrasound at 5:30. I had not left the house in a while and it felt good to get dressed and get out. My mind was going crazy on the way there, we were about to see our baby for the first time on the screen that holds so many negative memories for us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everything looked great with baby and amniotic fluids. PHEW!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baby was posterior on right side with fist by the chin. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the way home we called Sandra with the results of the ultrasound and we decided we would try to induce labor Saturday morning.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 4 </span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">started the (nasty) parsley tea around 10a, drinking a cup every hour for 4 hours. IF labor is near, the tea should kick things into gear within the day. If labor is NOT near, it should start on day 5. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I also started doing pulsatilla every 30 minutes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Around 7p Sandra came by to check on me. I was 30-40% effaced, 3cm and baby sounded great still posterior on right side. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She came back over at 10p to check on me again. Baby was anterior on left (the most ideal birthing position) which of course got me very anxious and excited. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our awesome friend, <a href="http://www.careyanneblog.com/" target="_blank">Carey</a> was photographing a wedding down the road from us and had really hoped to come over after to catch the birth. She came over after the wedding to chat and catch up. It was a fun night, even though it wasn't what we all wanted it to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contractions stayed at 15-20 minutes apart through the night (they had been like that since noon-ish) waking me up but nothing exciting was happening with them.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 5</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Started taking evening primrose oil since it worked so well with my last labor. Contractions were 15 min apart all day long with a lot of pressure. Mid afternoon I lost my mucus plug and had bloody show. This was my first time to experience either of these things, which led to a long conversation about just how amazing the woman's body is and how miraculous labor/birth is.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">October 6</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">everything started to fade away...contractions were no longer a set time apart and pressure was relieved. I continued to take pulsatilla and evening primrose oil. We headed to the chiropractor in the afternoon to get my pelvis reset and get adjusted. Baby was back to being posterior on the right. I was starting to stress out about labor since posterior babies cause back labor and I didn't want my back to seize up like it did with Cameron's delivery.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We decided we would go to community group since nothing was happening, but it was canceled so we had an impromptu dinner at a friend's house. It was a great 'distraction' for all of us and we had such a fun time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>October 7</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The date J.D. had deemed as THE DAY since we found out I was pregnant. Not much was going on, random contractions here and there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4:45p my water started leaking (just like with Everett's labor) an hour later I started to feel like I have the flu, sick to my stomach and no appetite. I went to lay down and sent a text to my midwife who told me to take temp and pulse then check back with her in 2 hours. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I slept for about an hour, woken up to 45sec contractions every 10 min and lost a lot of fluid. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8:45 ate a small dinner</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10:45 went to bed </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was woken up by a few contractions, but could sleep through most of them. I was up at 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep until 6, up at 7 with a lot of pain and pressure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>October 8</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not much going on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">very similar to Tuesday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contractions off and on all day, but nothing super serious. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Texted with Sandra about fears such as having a labor with a face up baby, back labor, being so far away from my chiropractor, not practicing my hypnobirthing since before Everett was born almost 2 years ago, etc. She, as always, confirmed that my body and my mind know how to do this and it is nothing new and when it happened, my body would kick in and do it's thing. Went to sleep very anxious and slept all night without being woken up by contractions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>October 9</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Woke up at about 4:00-5:00a with strong contractions. Exact reverse of how my nights/mornings had been. getting anxious that this is THE sign we had been waiting for. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After consistently strong contractions for a couple of hours (not being able to talk through them), we sent a text to Sandra who headed our way. Also, sent a text to Carey, my photographer, to fill her in. J.D. started to fill up the birth pool with warm water. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My midwife arrived checked me out, she said I WAS in REAL labor this time and we'd be having a baby today. By this point my anxiety was increasing and I was doing my best to kick it to the curb, focus on my 'birth play list' and relax. I was determined to have the happy labor I had seen so many women experience, but I was out of practice so it took a lot of energy. I had a couple sweet boys in bed with me helping by reading books to me and baby.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My parents took the kids to the mall to allowing me to focus and labor in peace. Everett wanted daddy in a bad way and couldn't stay out of his sight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I labored in the bed, sitting indian-style, for a long time and was actually able to joke around and laugh during a lot of it. Sandra, Carey and my mom were all commenting on how crazy it was for me to be so happy during labor. I kept commenting that I didn't believe it was really going to happen today. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once labor progressed a bit, I think I was at 7cm, I got in to the pool and labored there for a while. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I remember carrying on conversations with everyone in the room, pausing for a contractions, as soon as it passed I jumped back into whatever I was talking about, instantly followed up by laughter from everyone. I couldn't comprehend why they were all laughing. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After an hour or so in the pool, Sandra wanted me to get out so she could try a few things with me laboring in the bed. Things were starting to get uncomfortable and labor seemed to have stalled, maybe because of my anxiety level fighting for the happy labor? maybe because of babies position? who knows..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While in the bed, Sandra checked me and I was at 9cm, but my cervix was trying to rotate back like it did with Everett and Kennedy, so she had to assist it in order to keep it forward. This was very painful. My cervix was working against the baby, during contractions it was closing up instead of opening, making everything more uncomfortable for both of us. We decided it was safe for me to get back into the pool since I did not want to birth in the bed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When baby crowned, my water sack broke and was clear (thank goodness!!!). This is when I stopped breathing during contractions (J.D. had to hold the oxygen mask on me and help me through the contractions, poor guy!). I remember being desperate for the head to finish delivery, I knew it would be a break and I was ready for a break to catch my breath. It seemed to take an eternity. I remember my midwife telling me to roll onto my hands and knees and I was very confused I kept trying to rest my head on the pool, but my face kept falling into the water and I felt like I was drowning - Sandra was in the pool with me at this point, but I had no idea. This obviously freaked J.D. and Carey out because they weren't sure if there was something wrong. It turns out that baby's fist was up by his face (just like in the ultrasound) and was stuck. Sandra was able to just pull the arm free and baby came less than 2min after. I heard my midwife say catch your baby, but I looked down to see it floating towards me and I grabbed it, pulled it to my chest and sat back trying to fight confusion (I was blacking out and foggy) and excitement that my baby was finally here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We got a towel wrapped around us and after a short bit, Sandra finally asked "so...what do we have? Boy or girl?" We had completely forgotten to even check. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a BOY!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had to get out of the pool fairly quickly because I had a large amount of bleeding that Sandra wanted to make sure it wasn't anything to be concerned about. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG-C_JqFyqy6uSe1tcnnmyUTPyQxpZr7twkwpj8UUVjlKcZ4yb6qDQ2TFzs2xDWcIUD5esYQ0ctwiGRiIg2MMAzC5h2b17pfTPUvgztzHs_vV0aSk1Pwe9bhfI3YxpVqzXTeVxLU6auWPq/s640/blogger-image-138453217.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG-C_JqFyqy6uSe1tcnnmyUTPyQxpZr7twkwpj8UUVjlKcZ4yb6qDQ2TFzs2xDWcIUD5esYQ0ctwiGRiIg2MMAzC5h2b17pfTPUvgztzHs_vV0aSk1Pwe9bhfI3YxpVqzXTeVxLU6auWPq/s640/blogger-image-138453217.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bronson Timothy was perfect. He was born with a ton of hair. Our first 3 babies were bald until around age 2 so we were very shocked. He had no vernix left, which means I was probably closer to 42 weeks. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9lQozltTcD_YeL65g5H2tgqOekdkYgdrA82H4eHntQnK2AYQ81jljKwqwUiC7aUToA72aaF_KZENQPiBybMCMsyHpExbw_7kHn7nKQ6PmFtvxAZpIHjDI9RRDERsX0oR2Ow-6n8oKaWbu/s640/blogger-image--351117903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9lQozltTcD_YeL65g5H2tgqOekdkYgdrA82H4eHntQnK2AYQ81jljKwqwUiC7aUToA72aaF_KZENQPiBybMCMsyHpExbw_7kHn7nKQ6PmFtvxAZpIHjDI9RRDERsX0oR2Ow-6n8oKaWbu/s640/blogger-image--351117903.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cameron got to cut Everett's cord. So, our only princess, Kennedy, wanted to cut Bronson's cord. She did an awesome job. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-Q00xuxIC6HuG9C35n1X3g_1Je5EZAX5um1STQIwGRwMt8s9Fmo1IJPYZC7B1XJHBeckWdrvrn7JVG4ZeCF2UZufwJXJizPdQdPSDd-GP4RLYb7K3jdnpoVpCuncG6BIcPmnAcwTlX2R/s640/blogger-image-1949224323.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig-Q00xuxIC6HuG9C35n1X3g_1Je5EZAX5um1STQIwGRwMt8s9Fmo1IJPYZC7B1XJHBeckWdrvrn7JVG4ZeCF2UZufwJXJizPdQdPSDd-GP4RLYb7K3jdnpoVpCuncG6BIcPmnAcwTlX2R/s640/blogger-image-1949224323.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rice family of 6.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This image captured all of our emotions perfectly...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kennedy - YAY, I'm the only girl</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me - phew, what just happened?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bronson - that was a LOT of work, I am tired</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cameron - I was right, I knew it was a boy</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everett - wait...I'm not the baby anymore? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dad - Thank you, Jesus for protecting them...that was scary</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To see the birth day in motion go <a href="http://www.careyanneblog.com/blog/2014/10/15/sharing-a-birth-story/" target="_blank">here</a> to Carey's blog and scroll all the way to the bottom. I cry every time I watch it. She did a beautiful (and tasteful) job and capturing Bronson's birth story. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-8995182776640413682015-01-04T12:44:00.001-06:002015-01-04T12:44:50.276-06:00Caboose bump<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love being pregnant, love it! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I took my first two pregnancies for granted. I regret it, but I wouldn't change it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I grew and learned from them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every baby has reshaped me (and not just my body)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When we conceived this baby I was excited, but there were a few miscarriages between Everett and this one. I was just uneasy, I wanted to be overjoyed, but fear took over a lot. My miscarriage history finds crazy ways to creep back in no matter how many days or years go by. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheeYZL5MJ8HdNcT-zHAN87dRcrgBmAGjm_SHZu3nid4QFuF3-WwqRLVW5xkk-60D2LYYa_86dYNIo9pmgnhb-846xBzl0U84fITZMrbNLR2PvTgub-gts3px44rAldKZgW38bF13uLccBu/s640/blogger-image-1028283243.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheeYZL5MJ8HdNcT-zHAN87dRcrgBmAGjm_SHZu3nid4QFuF3-WwqRLVW5xkk-60D2LYYa_86dYNIo9pmgnhb-846xBzl0U84fITZMrbNLR2PvTgub-gts3px44rAldKZgW38bF13uLccBu/s1600/blogger-image-1028283243.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everett had a special bond with the "bahbee" (baby). He either wanted to use my belly as a pillow, seat, arm/foot rest or just to be near it at all the time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everett got very sick, lethargic, super high fever. We visited the ER, but never found out what was wrong. All this while daddy was in Africa for a week, home for a couple days and then to California for a week. My stress level might of reached an all time high that month. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTqiHmclF7vt7UWYVuO5P2L07fOinNpJsOsP4vBy6I5f4q6CsaFI-8w0hcBALjrlSJZXjE42xtUhE86jHKaEBi367hyfoiduLu-ZFl1YNxO5X7bWoNodzJX66arL6pMqlpkxL0G-ytKXnU/s640/blogger-image--766794967.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTqiHmclF7vt7UWYVuO5P2L07fOinNpJsOsP4vBy6I5f4q6CsaFI-8w0hcBALjrlSJZXjE42xtUhE86jHKaEBi367hyfoiduLu-ZFl1YNxO5X7bWoNodzJX66arL6pMqlpkxL0G-ytKXnU/s1600/blogger-image--766794967.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our life was just crazy hectic and I didn't handle it all so well. However looking back I had more than likely had health issues going on that I never mentioned to anyone because I just assumed (stupid, I know) it was part of being pregnant while rearing 3 small kiddos. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">About halfway through the pregnancy we decided this was going to be my last pregnancy. I was really sad, but finally admitted my body had been through enough and needed a break. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for 7 years. Growing our family was still an option, but my womb was no longer going to be an option. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsfkchEPomhdhfCu2j8NVq_AxJzikiCzWa_m4WoZy7zxT8EI2k0ZOdEwSFly-fAqCWwwRjtB6VppvV_fvchhTvKBCNmDfD-XzxeuNYKfCWZoYTekqB-wVrVyBVmkAovesxe9l92WHDwhTh/s640/blogger-image--645826924.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsfkchEPomhdhfCu2j8NVq_AxJzikiCzWa_m4WoZy7zxT8EI2k0ZOdEwSFly-fAqCWwwRjtB6VppvV_fvchhTvKBCNmDfD-XzxeuNYKfCWZoYTekqB-wVrVyBVmkAovesxe9l92WHDwhTh/s1600/blogger-image--645826924.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">31 weeks and probably my most favorite picture of any of my pregnancies.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Around 32 weeks I was stung by a scorpion on my head and had to take a trip to the ER. I had an awful doctor who told me that I was having a panic attack and should just relax because "there aren't deadly scorpions in the U.S. Only in Arizona". I wanted to scream and tell her how dumb she sounded, but I was having trouble breathing, my tongue was swelling, couldn't focus my vision or my thoughts, my face was numb, parts of my body were also going numb and convulsing. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After lots of research and talking with my midwife turns out that scorpions and shellfish are allergen buddies. My shell fish allergy is more than likely a much bigger allergen for me than before. I'll spare the details of my shrimp incident about a month later, not as scary as the scorpion, but scary! If you need to know anything about scorpions, I'm now your girl since I've researched the crap out of them!! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6CFUXostEkf551GsJzQPIEvZIwhzUC1LV6QYg-Pvk3Z5ORHbE5FEPFrg9YOagVYS8jbAjGx4oeey7yXrKpZMeglQEUIiNHxbmKeHj9bWJa5BejMr01zy5oZE94QvWVfA51WlA_1EbQD0/s640/blogger-image--997291279.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6CFUXostEkf551GsJzQPIEvZIwhzUC1LV6QYg-Pvk3Z5ORHbE5FEPFrg9YOagVYS8jbAjGx4oeey7yXrKpZMeglQEUIiNHxbmKeHj9bWJa5BejMr01zy5oZE94QvWVfA51WlA_1EbQD0/s1600/blogger-image--997291279.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last couple weeks of pregnancy are the hardest. It's even harder when you don't know when you are "due". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even harder when small people are constantly looking up at you from under the belly to talk to you about when the baby is coming. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One day at lunch I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">said, "SOON the baby will come soon I don't know when please stop asking" which was followed by "when is soon". </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So I took this picture above and sent it to J.D. With the story. Made us all laugh instead of loosing our minds! </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZG4Z3Ep0UxYY28A4PMWoJ0anvs2uwz7BEA8ImcNiNQtFeyUhp5SCuZN_5r0fsDSUihQQKbh0la0i7kYXN-XI2YT10uKxU8hY1FzhVuWpVMieTtUBekxL72kliUKlmiyt5BxRyTBFNmE2h/s640/blogger-image--1505626404.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZG4Z3Ep0UxYY28A4PMWoJ0anvs2uwz7BEA8ImcNiNQtFeyUhp5SCuZN_5r0fsDSUihQQKbh0la0i7kYXN-XI2YT10uKxU8hY1FzhVuWpVMieTtUBekxL72kliUKlmiyt5BxRyTBFNmE2h/s1600/blogger-image--1505626404.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The above picture was from the middle of the night after being woken up by a contraction the day before baby joined us. I was so anxious for the baby to come. I wanted to stop stressing over its position, gaining weight, being overdue, my back hurting, etc etc etc. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was also sad. sad I was up with contractions that felt like they were doing nothing. sad I was about to experience birth for the last time. Sad that I would never feel a baby inside my womb again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I went back to bed and cried myself back to sleep, quietly so I wouldn't wake up J.D. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have enjoyed this season of our life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I will remember it with great and crazy memories. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was a fun ride. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This pregnancy was the perfect ending. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-71188194296637796452013-11-19T22:18:00.005-06:002013-11-19T23:01:27.245-06:00Everett's Birth Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p>Everett Michael</o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p>November 19, 2012 (41 weeks)</o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p>6:46p (48hr 1min "labor")</o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p>21" long</o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Nov 17<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
6:45p-had just finished vacuuming living room and kitchen. Then
started washing some dishes in the kitchen and felt something running down my
leg. Went to the bathroom and my pee was clear, crystal clear. I came back out
and said, “umm, I think my water just broke”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I kept going to the bathroom and feeling dumb not knowing if
it REALLY broke or not. I kept thinking. “this is the 3<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">rd</span></sup> baby,
surely I should know for sure, right?” (yes. my water broke with the first two)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We texted my midwife (Sandra) and told her that we were
almost sure my water broke, but contractions had not changed any. Around 8min
apart and 2min each<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
JD blew up the pool and started filling it with warm water<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Went to bed around 11. Took me a while to go to sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Contractions still 7-8min apart 1 min each<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Nov 18<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Woke up around 3am<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Contractions were very sporadic 10min, 3 min, 4 min, 6 min,
3 min, fell back asleep<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Up at 5a - </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Took a shower, ate a piece of peanut butter toast, an apple
and cup of raspberry leaf tea. Laid down on couch and fell back asleep<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Kids woke me up at 7. We ate breakfast (I had a spinach
smoothie) contractions were consistent 7 min apart 1 min each<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Pads were dry all the time so I stopped putting them on and
would lose a lot of fluid every time I went to the bathroom<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Baby was moving and heartbeat was great<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Starting taking caullophyllum, cimicifuega & pulsatilla
3 of each every 20 min on rotation<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
Kids, hubby and dog went for a walk, I walked in circles
around the house and sat on excersise ball<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">12:00n - </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Midwife came to check me for the first time. Thick and 2 cm,
cervix very posterior. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Started doing squats, hip circles, and lunges during
contractions to help move cervix forward. Started to have stronger contraction. 5-6 min apart 1 min
each<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1:30p - </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Had half pb sandwich pear and blackberries</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everything is the same as earlier..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4:45p - </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Tried the breast pump and pumped half an ounce of colostrum…it
was so hard to dump that!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Contractions went to 6-7 min apart then 4-5 and back to 6-7
getting frustrated, but could feel them starting in my pelvic floor and
building up my stomach<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
5:48p- 4-5 min apart 1 min ea</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6:15p-Still able to talk through contractions, but can’t really
walk or move during them. Ran out of pulsatilla started only doing c&C</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6:45p - </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sitting at the dinner table with legs on each side of the
chair and leaning with my belly hanging. I was trying so hard to keep things
normal for the kids and be a part of our family dinner, knowing it was going to
be the last one as a family of 4. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now contractions were 3 min apart but same strength as early
in the day<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">(all the above was written down…but this is when I stopped
tracking so the rest is from memory)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sandra came over to check me again and see if I was
progressing. Cervix was still very posterior and slightly thinner than earlier
and now a 3. Not at all what I was expecting and I started crying I think or
maybe I wanted to cry. At this point it had been 24 hours since my ‘water broke’
and law says she has to tell me that I should be transported to the hospital,
but law also says I can decline. We declined. Risky, maybe, but we weren’t 100%
sure my sac had broken because it was only leaky when I was on the toilet. So,
we took the risk of staying at home. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We eventually went to sleep around 10,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think. Sandra slept on our couch and came
in throughout the night to check our (mine and baby) vitals. I only know this because
she told me. I had no clue and apparently slept really well all night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Nov 19<o:p></o:p></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Woken up around 5 or 6 by a voicemail alert on J.D.’s phone –
non baby related and stirred emotions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
let it off our chests and prayed it would not affect our day, our baby’s birth
day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sandra came in and we discussed the night, the vitals she
got through the night, how we were thinking the day would go. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We got some breakfast and showers and of course I tried to
tidy up the house despite Sandra and J.D. telling me to relax. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At some point the kids woke up and my parents came over to
keep the kids busy so we could concentrate on getting baby ready for birth. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Most of the day is a blur and times are really blurry, but that’s
every day for me, ha!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Mid-morning Sandra checked me again. I had made some
progress, but not a lot. She went home for a little bit and we texted throughout
the rest of the morning/afternoon.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think it was around 1 or 2 that Sandra came back over. Things
were getting very intense and we could tell it was the real deal. I kept
wanting to get into the birth pool, but not wanting to rush things. I was
laboring well on the bed on a pile of pillows. I would sit up and chat and
laugh with J.D. and Sandra then as soon as a contraction came I would fall
forward with my face in a pillow, on my elbows and knees rocking my hanging
belly in all directions while praying and imagining baby making its way through
the birth canal and breathing as slow and normal as I could stand. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I attempted to use Hypnobirthing again like I did with
Kennedy, but I just decided to use the principals of it and use a playlist of
calm Christian songs. I listened to it a lot throughout the pregnancy. Many of
the songs became prayers and some of them were literal-my favorite was Hold me
still by Forever Jones.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">“Cause you hold me still when the waves around begin to
build…Oh, I see the waves I’m not afraid…My ground is stable…” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you have read Hypnobirthing you know the significance of
waves with contractions. So I held this words of truth close to me and sang
them out (maybe…I think I did, but I never asked anyone if I was singing out
loud)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At some point Sandra checked and my cervix was maybe a 5 and
still very posterior and I had told her about my birth experience with Kennedy
and ‘stalling at 8cm’ so she pulled my cervix forward with several contractions.
Yes, incredibly painful, but Sandra was so gentle and the experience was far
better than it was with Kennedy’s birth. I told her I thought that was enough
and I was ready to get in the pool. Around 5-5:30 we think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Big kids joined me for a bit at some point. Things were
getting intense with contractions and kids were getting crazy so Sandra
suggested they leave the room so I can stay in my zone. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">J.D. notified his parents and our birth photographer (who
was already on her way) that it was time to head our way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was hard to labor in the pool. I wanted to get back to my
routine with the pillow pile, but I knew I also wanted the water birth (that I did
not get with Kennedy) and of course the warm water feels so good and it offers
so much relief. So, I would relax in the sitting position slightly leaned back
between contractions. When the contractions came oh boy..my stomach would
contract and take over my whole body. It would pull me forward and I had to
follow and throw myself over with my arms on the pool and my face just on the inside
with my belly hanging and my legs tucked under me. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sandra kept dropping homeopathic tablets under my tongue to
help me out. She was a God sent and I could write for days about how much I
love her and how thankful I am for her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With the other two births I had tried to push them out-their
births did not go the way I had wanted and it was a lot of frustration that I
was trying to get them to me as fast as possible. With this birth I was able to
let my body completely take over. What an amazing experience to see how God
created my body for this very thing. My abs would pull towards the middle and
push down with more intensity than I could ever do on my own. Amazing!!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At the end of a contraction (I remember seeing the clock say
6:?? ) I heard and felt a bomb explode. I sat up and asked if they heard it. They
did not hear or feel anything. They did tell me later than I had a lot of
bubbles pop up. Oh..NOW my water broke. Ok..huge relief. Now, that 24 hour ‘rule’
is no longer an issue. We have as much time as we need..phew!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a few more contractions his head was out and I reached
down and said, “ohhhh there’s his nose” (So glad my mom got it all on video)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It seems like forever before the next contraction came and I
asked if they could just pull him out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then J.D. says “baby, it’s your song” and turns up the
music. It was !0,000 reason by Matt Redman. I had had dreams about the baby being
born to that song..a very specific point in the song.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The last contraction finally came and baby was caught by
daddy for half a second before I snatched him up to the face to cover him in
kisses. There are no pictures of baby being born and after watching the video
and hearing Carey’s camera clicks…now I know just how fast I pulled him up.
Oops..I wanted those amazing photos of baby still in water, give baby time to
adjust and all those other benefits to a water birth. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_vebEAw5xZgsSwDdELJUZUDiNxex39j5G0_WnnfX_vDQ3rUGmw94qImIo_Oov11DiA31PBiD0EFXLTSI4jm2AvJeF9sRvArd8Go6ZFxhiVia1hWRZZVjeSfHTAHwMAy305NBbfSJdeXJk/s1600/careyannephotographyRICE_0021bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_vebEAw5xZgsSwDdELJUZUDiNxex39j5G0_WnnfX_vDQ3rUGmw94qImIo_Oov11DiA31PBiD0EFXLTSI4jm2AvJeF9sRvArd8Go6ZFxhiVia1hWRZZVjeSfHTAHwMAy305NBbfSJdeXJk/s320/careyannephotographyRICE_0021bw.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">daddy catching baby-you can see the splash from my arm</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">fter a couple minutes (now Jesus loves Me by Christy Nockels
– so happy God made my random playlist not so random at just the perfect time)
J.D. walks to the side and announces that he was right, he called it before I
took a pregnancy test. It’s a BOY!!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_kxWVjCTK3_LS9j80L9EgbYHvsaJ7bB613NrE-xgLdDRxj6txd030c3bYYgTlYtwY4Ba13MrKeDK3DcUNg_Jn5xlVfULSt2qgz79UY1LSOyh_7hTgSCGCxkWojdHdVVIjEXrWaVD0bGRG/s1600/careyannephotographyRICE_0045bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3vOiYUuAmJ03BagXCa2z9atW4w3pTRprgDmfsAlpn3-34S8QU-LgyOp8v4OR3tkjpHXBdKdQz57fvbCs9oRFmcm8oibyJh5mrRF67NNrxXGXLRoNhN4ht5xdJXUJfZ7Uq6Jb956gnSCsW/s1600/careyannephotographyRICE_0042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3vOiYUuAmJ03BagXCa2z9atW4w3pTRprgDmfsAlpn3-34S8QU-LgyOp8v4OR3tkjpHXBdKdQz57fvbCs9oRFmcm8oibyJh5mrRF67NNrxXGXLRoNhN4ht5xdJXUJfZ7Uq6Jb956gnSCsW/s320/careyannephotographyRICE_0042.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZfRJyenP7CTZVlUkkdRFKZFXUCh3Nk_1apvpK90r3FvQrDnsLapP30UbYIuyC98tPWx-szYgvdsLHBBEFpDTkN7Ep87-sRsrMf55nXGmxhsU5ElTwSnD-iSLly-4nlVkVOlKsC9qGF3Ks/s1600/careyannephotographyRICE_0045bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">a HUGE thank you to...</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">-my amazing husband for being my biggest supporter and best birth partner. you are my strength. I love you!!</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">-my midwife, Sandra McDonald. I don't even know how to put into words how much she means to me. If you need a midwife, you're in the Houston area, use her..unless we are due at the same time, I get dibs :)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">-my friend and photographer, </span><a href="http://www.careyanneblog.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Carey</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">. I roped her into birth photography, but she is an awesome family and senior photographer.</span> </span></div>
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</div>
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</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">all photos are copyright of carey anne photography.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-24258094975509777562013-10-04T20:51:00.001-05:002013-10-04T21:39:43.988-05:00Purchase with a PurposeChristmas is around the corner and will be here before we know it.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Jesus is the reason for the season. </div>
<div>
Why not make this season a season of change. </div>
<div>
A change in our purchases. </div>
<div>
Make our purchase speak. </div>
<div>
Purchase with a purpose. </div>
<div>
A purpose to change the world. </div>
<div>
Change lives. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here's my list of some of my favorite places to purchase with a purpose: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="http://www.livefashionable.com/" target="_blank">fashionABLE</a></div>
<div>
Gorgeous scarves and leather products. </div>
<div>
The Genet is my favorite!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivfHxpt5IaTKIn7rWjvAnVtm1kkCW-iwQLwdjLolrHX_Jcdwxb8YWtcAXhkRFV8xnzehf60hpUV9hCAs0m1XRZw4JVOlkoLOMIEpdNTjqAngrk1bpmWZclIpgUetQMNneCQ0MD3zTRE3HP/s640/blogger-image-2093311597.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivfHxpt5IaTKIn7rWjvAnVtm1kkCW-iwQLwdjLolrHX_Jcdwxb8YWtcAXhkRFV8xnzehf60hpUV9hCAs0m1XRZw4JVOlkoLOMIEpdNTjqAngrk1bpmWZclIpgUetQMNneCQ0MD3zTRE3HP/s640/blogger-image-2093311597.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.shopbetterlifebags.com/" target="_blank">Better Life Bags</a></div>
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Awesome bags (lots of size options) that you get to design yourself. Look at these new fall fabrics!! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5bgsnPggP21Lr3_MDyM8QSiBDOJIVrxI57968TOGTREBiIkdN19KMbGX7YL-bgz2ka7AxveIsGaSa5QOIdwFOrdPSjbItHDsIRrfuysU8kMdLPapwFEgNgopifac2LQR7cqi2Iyr_hyh/s640/blogger-image-1658488647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS5bgsnPggP21Lr3_MDyM8QSiBDOJIVrxI57968TOGTREBiIkdN19KMbGX7YL-bgz2ka7AxveIsGaSa5QOIdwFOrdPSjbItHDsIRrfuysU8kMdLPapwFEgNgopifac2LQR7cqi2Iyr_hyh/s640/blogger-image-1658488647.jpg" /></a></div>
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Adoption Funraisers:</div>
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Adoption are expensive and there are a lot of people who sell items to raise money to being their babies home. </div>
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Here two of my friends selling cute shirts-</div>
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<a href="http://www.aldridgeadoption.bigcartel.com/" target="_blank">Bring Emily Home</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL3OH96iATMVAZthzFFs418so3ROLJl58d0wz9TAoBCtGb1TIWlarI_k3MvMnuhZSuTbshc2rKqV0FoxlwVpWN9_DnwNSUyVQj-wiiuqOPT-F9tQSRDGwYVZ-xHUjYY52MbfwZyNDxJs6t/s640/blogger-image--613418929.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL3OH96iATMVAZthzFFs418so3ROLJl58d0wz9TAoBCtGb1TIWlarI_k3MvMnuhZSuTbshc2rKqV0FoxlwVpWN9_DnwNSUyVQj-wiiuqOPT-F9tQSRDGwYVZ-xHUjYY52MbfwZyNDxJs6t/s640/blogger-image--613418929.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.bringingkingstonhome.storenvy.com/" target="_blank">Bring Kingston Home</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA7diLB02awPtW6IQOwkCjbWu9sEFV_Syop4gGopfkErBAfcp-FNM4uCA_KSKcEbgfzp3iz3FVskPHnukex3XttJgpBXY7OpbrkpPS_sd77oeBiz3iDaOAO0bG7fl1cdE0uTDsUV7ypacE/s640/blogger-image--378285532.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA7diLB02awPtW6IQOwkCjbWu9sEFV_Syop4gGopfkErBAfcp-FNM4uCA_KSKcEbgfzp3iz3FVskPHnukex3XttJgpBXY7OpbrkpPS_sd77oeBiz3iDaOAO0bG7fl1cdE0uTDsUV7ypacE/s640/blogger-image--378285532.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.romaboots.com/" target="_blank">Roma Boots</a></div>
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One for one rain boots. Comfy, cute...and new styles and colors are coming next month!! AND they are based in Dallas..texas proud!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAm3ANxmFfXKfkHdtj0KsQdi42Zw1Uj-9DYnZCoZjFvfUSpJW7x6MrVsQ55TuzWSUowccFx84Ogj0ncNxbVgsS49jn7oFXmQamEDw78xI8zrcPCmIhvbFEKEFK1-4Hg9PKJznVsY_-_5G/s640/blogger-image--2068076659.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggAm3ANxmFfXKfkHdtj0KsQdi42Zw1Uj-9DYnZCoZjFvfUSpJW7x6MrVsQ55TuzWSUowccFx84Ogj0ncNxbVgsS49jn7oFXmQamEDw78xI8zrcPCmIhvbFEKEFK1-4Hg9PKJznVsY_-_5G/s640/blogger-image--2068076659.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.themochaclub.org/" target="_blank">The Mocha Club</a></div>
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Probably one of my favorites. Such a brilliant idea and they sell accessories, shirts and scarves too! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit27IVfOq75XejennVjpY0ig9DXa4Zwxqn7N9PeWpESfYWR4uIfnABCDm6ojzhc9GkzfKSAa90YqHsQ5Ye-WR7hXkY1oZigZvGC0k_SQhoyglTCFRlvaKnqPkBufyhhW2rr-tETqVGjlUv/s640/blogger-image--625343108.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit27IVfOq75XejennVjpY0ig9DXa4Zwxqn7N9PeWpESfYWR4uIfnABCDm6ojzhc9GkzfKSAa90YqHsQ5Ye-WR7hXkY1oZigZvGC0k_SQhoyglTCFRlvaKnqPkBufyhhW2rr-tETqVGjlUv/s640/blogger-image--625343108.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIObAsOIEiPZRh7XkGmC_VW8TzUNJ4aocloW9NgGehzEEcc34pW1nA-el9FejBogR3zRm_BF4NYDVrHj4f731anQ55PXOGBTgRpfBg91yMkOgazwGVA8BS9DFoo_BuShOq3ZAoHezweAJh/s640/blogger-image--1756923269.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIObAsOIEiPZRh7XkGmC_VW8TzUNJ4aocloW9NgGehzEEcc34pW1nA-el9FejBogR3zRm_BF4NYDVrHj4f731anQ55PXOGBTgRpfBg91yMkOgazwGVA8BS9DFoo_BuShOq3ZAoHezweAJh/s640/blogger-image--1756923269.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.debrarice.noondaycollection.com/" target="_blank">Noonday Collection</a></div>
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Accessories made with love from all over the world. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">A lot of great options that are perfect for teacher gifts..like this stationary set!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjaFfvu74QAbxwH8R9pZ2RSh2CrUHZONQ6m2fM6cY6UxBa1cd2eeqqMqKcQtYpMtQunllAtiXmIwjmW9_A7m47mu5mZ8D2hPsNeeX4bzgyPnk0jV_Plj0GMn3g7WvqYD_EN03QeETwjLvy/s640/blogger-image-1233831944.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjaFfvu74QAbxwH8R9pZ2RSh2CrUHZONQ6m2fM6cY6UxBa1cd2eeqqMqKcQtYpMtQunllAtiXmIwjmW9_A7m47mu5mZ8D2hPsNeeX4bzgyPnk0jV_Plj0GMn3g7WvqYD_EN03QeETwjLvy/s640/blogger-image-1233831944.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.haitiancreations,com" target="_blank">Haitian Creations</a></div>
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I love Haiti. I love <a href="http://www.heartlineministries.org/" target="_blank">Heartline Ministries</a>. I love Haitian creations and their partnership with heartline. Accessories made with love...check out their mother/daughter line!!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzPLv3tXIWN4kpgh3v8h9p-i_xlHj-A5_ab9-cRfRejjBPInwMu6iA9bQ4vC1knOfzlRRYPsx26PcbuGwW-SV_isFA-JdSl49Bx2ALYjYAB5pDy7e3EmfRC00MiNkpTm3JHmChaKfLVaQu/s640/blogger-image-1707328283.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzPLv3tXIWN4kpgh3v8h9p-i_xlHj-A5_ab9-cRfRejjBPInwMu6iA9bQ4vC1knOfzlRRYPsx26PcbuGwW-SV_isFA-JdSl49Bx2ALYjYAB5pDy7e3EmfRC00MiNkpTm3JHmChaKfLVaQu/s640/blogger-image-1707328283.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.justlovecoffee.com/">Just Love Coffee</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Who doesn't love coffee? Added bonus-they offer adoption fundraising!! </span></div>
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Tips: Create your own wish list with some of these items. Making others learn about new amazing companies that are changing the world with our purchases! So sneaky! So worth it! </div>
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Most of these companies offer gift card options so you can gift those to help pay a portion for a friend or family member! </div>
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Oh and I'm guessing you probably came over to see who won the cubist cuff?!??</div>
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Well...</div>
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I'm new to blogging. </div>
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I don't know what I am doing most..or all the time to be honest! </div>
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So giveaways and fancy random winner picker things just stressed me out so we did it old school. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyaZfn5MRXgGZ3LTaNNmQ7-kuV11jodLz7lS5dN3JsPL4SXYHbT7Wcp_nKBf1w-HfAJTVGE4OATGz6E63Tqu3LNsYLRf3TWBCMq0p329Ke0NkTLuZqpmAVfWqE1wvGl24yFC6n02_JXl9a/s640/blogger-image--1210591904.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyaZfn5MRXgGZ3LTaNNmQ7-kuV11jodLz7lS5dN3JsPL4SXYHbT7Wcp_nKBf1w-HfAJTVGE4OATGz6E63Tqu3LNsYLRf3TWBCMq0p329Ke0NkTLuZqpmAVfWqE1wvGl24yFC6n02_JXl9a/s640/blogger-image--1210591904.jpg" /></a></div>
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I put everyone's name in a hat, woody's hat (most of you got your name in twice--thank you!!!) I had Kennedy pick a name, but then Cameron wanted to pick a name. </div>
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It's been a tough week and today was well..let's just say a good fit to end the week. So another fight brewing made me move fast..</div>
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"You each pick one and let Everett pick one from that"</div>
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Phew..crisis #946 for the week was just avoided! </div>
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....and the winner is </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1mXqHLsU4JzTt7H92wqgQ3_3EfiPlabvI5R68T4_GRbqoExs2pbMIsx2EpbVusJT9Iljcy-dndfL7B5MMS74OQbU7UnfofqNSMKHRfWfB1TCfv4uA7fnb5Wli3fXdkKhIw32UzrcJ8pu/s640/blogger-image--952456608.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY1mXqHLsU4JzTt7H92wqgQ3_3EfiPlabvI5R68T4_GRbqoExs2pbMIsx2EpbVusJT9Iljcy-dndfL7B5MMS74OQbU7UnfofqNSMKHRfWfB1TCfv4uA7fnb5Wli3fXdkKhIw32UzrcJ8pu/s640/blogger-image--952456608.jpg" /></a></div>
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Congrats, Mindy!! </div>
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Email me at debra.rice@yahoo.com to claim your bracelet!!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-81850489299400788732013-09-30T08:39:00.000-05:002013-09-30T08:54:48.686-05:00Noonday CabooseWelcome to the Caboose of the Noonday Collection blog train.<br />
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Back in March I signed up to be a <a href="http://www.debrarice.noondaycollection.com/" target="_blank">Noonday Ambassador.</a> </div>
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"...satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday."</div>
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Isaiah 58:10</div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The accessories are AHHHH-mazing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I love getting to wear such beautiful, unique, handcrafted accessories all the time..not to mention get out of my 'stay at home mom' attire more often. My heart is not only for my small family here, but my family of ambassadors and artisans around the world. I can no longer stay at home, raise my family the way I have been. My eyes have been open and now I must act to care for my new family.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">While the accessories are amazing, it's about so much more! Noonday Collection is about advocating for our artisans. It's about education. It's about helping provide sustainable income. It's about family. It's about community. It's about life change. It's about love. </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/img/pages/how-its-made.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://www.noondaycollection.com/img/pages/how-its-made.jpg" width="448" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />My most favorite part about being an ambassador is educating women at trunk shows how their purchases are changing lives. Our artisans stories are beautiful, life changing, and full of love. When you wear a Noonday accessory, you are wearing a story of life change, of love, of a brighter future for the hands that created it as well as our world. Because our world is a better place with love. </span></div>
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Do you want to style your friends while changing the world? </div>
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Why not have a trunk show this fall in place of a your annual girls Christmas party. Shop for Christmas gifts while changing lives. </div>
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My challenge to you this season is to start purchasing with a purpose. Even if you aren't into accessorizing - I wasn't either until Noonday- there are clothing, home decor, shoes, food companies and so many others that you can shop from that help you change the world with your purchase.</div>
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I am giving away one Cubist Cuff in silver!</div>
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<a href="http://www.noondaycollection.com/img/products/IMG_1634-z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://www.noondaycollection.com/img/products/IMG_1634-z.jpg" width="328" /></a></div>
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Here are 2 ways to enter...</div>
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1. Go to www.debrarice.noondaycollection.com come back here and tell me what your favorite item is.</div>
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2. Share this blog post on facebook (be sure to comment and let me know you did)</div>
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*BONUS* For FIVE extra entries (if you live in The Woodlands, Conroe, Magnolia, Montgomery, College Station, Katy, or any city around one of those) book a trunk show before December 8th</div>
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Thank you so much for stopping by.</div>
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Check out yesterday's post by <a href="http://themotherspearls.com/" target="_blank">Carrie</a> and if you want more and missed the train start at the beginning with <a href="http://www.thegirlwhosaidyes.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Krista</a> </div>
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Come back Friday afternoon to see who wins and to see my list of place to shop this holiday season!<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-55229217848577437672013-09-04T21:46:00.000-05:002013-09-04T21:46:10.628-05:00Kindergarten<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So hard to believe this sweet little baby is now 5 and starting Kindergarten.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWmPTAH-LgR76uisVl_KEEWJVdHZRoTmWWjwLp_-JbiPjW895SHfb5-Pqkqz3ICmHPbdMhcmWFMzSkjpJJp9liG_ZIwZ_cflamRoGDe-qgucWhBYNLEVgcserbR-LqQf_hV72q3kHp5VQ/s1600/P1110256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiWmPTAH-LgR76uisVl_KEEWJVdHZRoTmWWjwLp_-JbiPjW895SHfb5-Pqkqz3ICmHPbdMhcmWFMzSkjpJJp9liG_ZIwZ_cflamRoGDe-qgucWhBYNLEVgcserbR-LqQf_hV72q3kHp5VQ/s320/P1110256.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are homeschooling. Yes, we have our reasons and yes, I will share them at later.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We decided pretty early on after Cameron was born that I would stay home and educate them the we felt led to. We have been doing 'school at home' (which it what I call it because most home school groups don't count pre-k as home school) since Cameron was little. We have not used a curriculum or a specific path until this year. It has been fun letting our life teach, but very challenging to be incredibly intentional all day, every day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This year we are still trying our best to let our life teach, but we have made our own 'curriculum' that we feel will work for us...more on that later too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am feeling incredibly blessed and overwhelmed that God has called us on this journey. So happy I get to keep my babies at home and not send them to school...for so many reasons. Yes, I do wish I could have a free day or a mom day and just get things done, but those are my weak days and few and far between, honestly. I love this life and I cherish every moment..or at least I try!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I was required to sign him up for public school 5 weeks ago, I would of held him back. He had zero interest in learning to read, learning more math, learning anything beyond his current level. He just wanted to draw. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Oh great. We will have a starving artist with no degree' thought may or may not of gone through my head a few times. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, lately he has learned to read and has the desire to learn. THANK YOU, JESUS!! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cameron's thoughts (out loud) on school:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I want to ride a bus</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- We need a bell so you can ring it and we can all come running to school</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- you need apples because teachers like apples</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- I need put my lunch in a bag</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IKF_ycdAr4PDBpHnna8wLn_duJsZRlpx-weJzWqGptWCgAbwUF9ZeUyIhIxNIiD6FY_ffLUqqP7nhPHrQezWBQ1zUkJZ1hmPqBrSoQDlnaXNfJDI55_YIilLqYO_qJSPtOkPHOM_fnA_/s1600/074.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8IKF_ycdAr4PDBpHnna8wLn_duJsZRlpx-weJzWqGptWCgAbwUF9ZeUyIhIxNIiD6FY_ffLUqqP7nhPHrQezWBQ1zUkJZ1hmPqBrSoQDlnaXNfJDI55_YIilLqYO_qJSPtOkPHOM_fnA_/s320/074.JPG" width="239" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcGYNYZD_laS3ueN0hX2eTYjUlQg-vaVNCOteZlzOuVowyXGEHTfi4xZ28NN7r02-OuBiyAg-HQvubz84isAejjQKWAekdXhAGbHHU3qzvOzmq-V0UGbMvaWYawxVhp2QPhl5-q80D9a5/s1600/081.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFcGYNYZD_laS3ueN0hX2eTYjUlQg-vaVNCOteZlzOuVowyXGEHTfi4xZ28NN7r02-OuBiyAg-HQvubz84isAejjQKWAekdXhAGbHHU3qzvOzmq-V0UGbMvaWYawxVhp2QPhl5-q80D9a5/s320/081.JPG" width="240" /></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is Cameron and Kennedy with their signs that they wrote all by themselves for the obligatory first day of school pictures.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cameron walked around outside for a while looking for the perfect spot, gathered sticks to put the sign on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kennedy went to the same spot, but had to clean it up since Cameron made it messy with the sticks...and of course she had to accessorize herself a tad!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our first day was a huge success. HUGE. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We didn't ride a bus.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We didn't have a bell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't eat an apple</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We didn't eat our lunch out of a bag.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, Cameron was begging to do more school after lunch..</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Slow down little man, you have the rest of your life ahead of you and mommy wants to go cry about having to say I have a kindergartner now..</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-59561993797867361942013-09-03T21:33:00.000-05:002013-09-03T21:33:20.700-05:00sad seven. part seven.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...and almost a year later I will finish this up</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, SORRY!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To read part six go </span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/10/sad-seven-part-six.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">here</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> or if you want to start at the beginning go </span><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">here</span></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hate that I never finished this series a year ago. To my defense...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">1. I stink at sticking to something new and scary</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">2. I had a baby</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">3. I have been sleep deprived</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">4. we moved</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So...my top tips for surviving the depths of a miscarriage</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">1. PRAYER</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">God is so much bigger than anything we are going through. He has had this planned for your life all along. He is desperate for us to cling to Him in good times and even more in bad times. With out prayer and His strength, I would have been in that crappy valley for a lot longer than I was.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">2. HUSBAND</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Even thought they do not understand what you are going through..they are going through something very similar on top of not knowing what to do or say or how to do anything to help you through this time. They want to talk, but they want to listen to you more. Talk, talk, and keep talking...let it out! Your husband can handle anything you throw his way and help you sort it out later (if you wish). Don't forget to let them talk too though, they also will need to heal from the miscarriage. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">3. FRIENDS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">This one is a tough one for me. I am some what of an introvert. I hate crowds, I hate being center of attention, having the spot light on me. Not a fan at all! So, when I had my miscarriages..I wanted my friends to know, but I didn't want to talk about it. If you have good friends they will ask questions, they will want to know how to help you, they will stick with you even though you want to sit inside and curl up in a ball 3 months later. Those are the friends you need to let in and share with. Don't let Satan attack your friendship's because you are afraid to share a dark part of your life. They care, let them care. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">4. OTHERS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Seek out others who have been in your shoes. Growing up, I was friends with two girls, Mel and Kristin, the 3 of us were inseparable in Elementary. I moved away and we lost touch. In high school we found each other again and thanks to facebook where staying in each others lives. It was super fun when we found out that all 3 of us were due with our babies in the same month. Then, Kristin lost her baby. I felt awful for her and honestly just thanked Jesus that my baby was OK. Little did I know that my baby had also passed. I reached out to Kristin in desperation. I will never forget her words and the strength she had. I owe a lot to her and how loving she was towards me in my dark days. I pray that one day I will get to hug her neck and thank her in person!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">So many woman have gone through this loss and we can all help each other. Don't hide, let your light shine and share so we can all help each other.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-18677477208257365812012-10-16T14:39:00.001-05:002012-10-16T14:39:50.739-05:00sad seven. part six.<div align="center">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">if you are new here, you can start this journey at the beginning with </span></strong></div>
<div align="center">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html" target="_blank">part one.</a></span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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</div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">part six.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I had no idea what I would write for part six, but I knew I couldn't end with a 5 part-er about a 7 month journey. However, not something grand and new happened every month for that time. It just took me THAT long to grow out of the ashes.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
<div align="left">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">there is no doubt in my mind that God is the one writing this portion of the blog. Every time I am stumped...the next few days/week, He is there with all the words to say.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">our church has been doing a series called 'masquerade' and talking about Christians wearing masks to hide behind and not being authentic people inside and out. </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">a couple Sunday's ago...</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">sitting in church service our pastor opens with 'hurt. you've either been deeply hurt or will be hurt because that's the world we live in' </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I usually always take notes in church because it keeps my focus and helps my memory retention (which to be honest...I have the WORST memory EVER and my wonderful husband would completely agree!). When these words started coming out of our pastors mouth, you could of seen smoke starting to come off my journal. I felt compelled to take the best notes that day. THIS is part six. THIS is what you need to hear and need to share.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So. here. we. go.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">life is full of hurts. </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">there is hope BEYOND the hurt.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have been hurt (in pain). physically. mentally. spiritually. However, my God is an almighty, loving, comforting God and He will get me beyond my hurt!</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Psalms 62:5-6 (NIV) says...</span></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Find rest, O my soul,
in God alone;</span></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">my hope comes from him.</span></strong></div>
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><div align="center" class="TXTTWO">
He alone is my rock
and my salvation;</div>
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</div>
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I have to let your whole self find rest in God, he is the hope beyond the hurt. He is my rock and will hold me up when I don't think I can go any further.</div>
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</div>
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Our local christian radio station's slogan is 'God Listens.' I hear it a lot. however, does God really listen when all I am doing is crying, does He understand my tears and what I mean by them? </div>
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Yes. He does. God hears even when I don't know the words to say. He knows my heart. my thoughts. my desires. He knows me. He is there for me. And He can be all those things for you too.</div>
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2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV) says...</div>
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Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28804A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, <span class="text 2Cor-1-4" id="en-NIV-28805">who comforts us<sup class="crossreference" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28805B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.</span></div>
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</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
God's son, Jesus, went though all that he did and God never left his side. Why do I think that when I am at my low He will leave me? </div>
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</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
comfort. </div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
as a christian, I have the Holy spirit to stand with me, walk along side me...God is not leaving me. not then, not now, never. </div>
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</div>
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God is the God of all comfort. He literally holds you up. He IS COMFORT.</div>
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<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
comfort is in the midst of pain.</div>
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not away from it.</div>
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not in the absence of it. </div>
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</div>
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my soul want comfort.</div>
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</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
troubles.</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
to be weighed down exceedingly. to be pressed and crushed.</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
it keeps us from living in the moment.</div>
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but God gives me the comfort in that trouble to be free.</div>
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</div>
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our souls want comfort.</div>
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</div>
<div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
Yesterday, October 15th was pregnancy and infant loss day. I pray that all of you that have been through this pain will find comfort in God and know that all good storms must come to an end. There is hope beyond this pain. </div>
</span><div class="TXTTWO" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</strong>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-87524017571353763822012-09-19T13:44:00.001-05:002012-10-16T13:30:37.990-05:00sad seven. part five.<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part five.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I am not going to lie. when I set out to start this story of our sad seven month journey, I had no plan. It of course needed to be 7 parts. duh. I am kind in like with the number, and well it is fitting...</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>but where to start? when to change it around? how much to include? what will each part contain? will I get it all out? will it be written well enough to change someones life if even for a moment?</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>all of these things floating around in my head. I knew I needed to get all this out in writing before it was another part of my life that I couldn't remember details of. So, </strong></span><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part one</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong> I just sat down during nap time one day and typed it out, through a lot of tears. </strong></span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/sad-seven-part-two.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part two</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong> and </strong></span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/search/label/family" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>three</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong> I wrote together and it just came to me with more tears. </strong></span><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/09/sad-seven-part-four.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part four</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong> was more difficult to write because those people who I pushed away would more than likely be reading. It was very emotionally challenging for me to get all those honest emotions out. I honestly thought that I would write this for myself and pray that one day someone would read it. Then as I started posting them, you all started texting, emailing, facebook messaging, facebook commenting and it blew me away. God was yet again using my story to touch people, but now that I knew people were reading, I felt like I had to 'bring it'. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I have been struggling now with how to transition from the sad/difficult times to the happy times, when God shows Himself in the way that we all marvel at. I have typed out this part five about 3 different times and just keep starting over. I was starting to feel pressure. then yesterday at church it hit me like a ton of bricks. the band closed with this song. Please take a minute..ok I think it is really like 5 minutes, but this song is so beautifully written and sung. PLUS I love how the person did the lyrics for it.</strong></span> <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/1spkhp41ig4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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{<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spkhp41ig4&feature=related" target="_blank"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">beautiful things</span></strong></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> by Gungor}</span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>During this song I realized that these words are my transition. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>All this pain<br />I wonder if I’ll ever find my way<br />I wonder if my life could really change at all</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Will my life really change at all or will I just revert back to the old me after God had put all this in my path?</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>All this earth<br />Could all that is lost ever be found<br />Could a garden come up from this ground at all</strong></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #f1c232;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Could something good really come of my life? come of all this mess I have made?</strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;">You make beautiful things<br />You make beautiful things out of the dust<br />You make beautiful things<br />You make beautiful things out of us</span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Yes, He makes beautiful things out of us.</strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>All around<br />Hope is springing up from this old ground<br />Out of chaos life is being found in You</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Every week it seemed like something else was happening...those "God moments" when you know He had put it all in motion and perfected it with a fine tooth comb. Out of my chaos, my new life was being found in Him.</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>You make me new, You are making me new<br />You make me new, You are making me new<br />You are making me new</strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>He made me new. He gave me a yet another chance...</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>The steps that got me out of the valley weren't things that I did. It was more what others did for me. I allowed them to pull me out one step at a time. Yes, all the friends that I had pushed away from my mountain, were the very ones pulling me up from my valley.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">For a few weeks it seemed like I was learning about people being pregnant. people around me, friends, close friends, distant friends. Some told me straight up, some avoided telling me in case it was a sensitive topic. While I was appreciative of them guarding my heart from more pain, it killed me to know that friends were afraid to share good news with me. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Every time I read or heard of someone else getting pregnant, I felt sick, dead, my insides hurt. however, with each one it healed me, my heart was happy for them to be able to experience the joy and miracle of life inside them. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It made me realize that God is still performing miracles on life...He just wasn't ready to use my womb again, yet, ever again..whatever it may be. </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I needed to be rejoicing in the life for others and not continuing to float around in my self pity. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, one by one...others pregnancy news healed my broken heart and womb. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I know with out a doubt that God was using those precious babies to heal me in a way I would of never expected. He could not of used them if my heart was not open to change and healing. It took months and months of prayer to get to that point and like a flood the healing came in and began to work. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am not completely healed. It still hurts. I still cry every time I hear of a miscarriage, see one on TV, read about one. The pain never goes away, but the pain I feel is a reminder of what God has taken me through to get me to where I am today. I am proud of my pain and proud of who it has made me. I am not proud of how I acted/treated/reacted to myself or others during my time in the valley, but I have definitely learned from it and hopefully those around will be able to forgive me as I have forgiven myself. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-80070673897037994432012-09-12T15:42:00.000-05:002012-10-16T13:30:37.989-05:00sad seven. part four<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>here is </strong></span><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part one</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>, </strong></span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/sad-seven-part-two.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part two</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>, & </strong></span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/search/label/family" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part three</strong></span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>...in case you missed them</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>part four.</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Now that I had some kind of answers about my health, I could focus on other things right? Like getting myself back to 'normal'?</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Sure, I did.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I focused on being alone. </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I shut mostly everyone out of my life. </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I didn't want people to see how badly I was hurting. </span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I didn't want to let people down.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I didn't need to have others throw me a pity party when they saw me.</span></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I did NOT want to go to church. At our church...you have to walk all the way to the other side of the building to drop kids off then walk all the way back to the front to go to service. that is a LOT of people to pass. I was so afraid I would hear 'I am so sorry' or someone would give me a silent hug and a smile. It would break me. I was trying to be strong remember? I didn't need to have someone love me and break me again.</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">During all this alone time I had created for myself I was constantly hearing this song called Your Great Name by Natalie Grant. Here are the lyrics to it, so you can see what I was hearing, but seriously...nothing like listening to this song. If you have not heard it, you SHOULD <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gbBrlAVm20" target="_blank">listen</a> to it!</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_1">Verse 1:</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_2"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of your great name</strong></span></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_3">All condemned; feel no shame, at the sound of your great name</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_4"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_5"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name</span></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s" id="line_6"></span></strong></span><br />
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Chorus:</strong></span></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_7">Jesus, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us, Son of God and Man</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_8"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>You are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your great name</strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_9">Verse 2:</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_10"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of your great name</strong></span></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_11">Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of your great name</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_13"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of your great name</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_14"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great name</span></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s" id="line_18"></span></strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">Bridge:</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_19"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">Redeemer, My Healer, Almighty</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_20"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My savior, Defender, You are My King</strong></span></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I kid you not. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I turned on the radio, in the car, in the house...THIS song was playing. Almost every time it had just started playing. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It brought me to tears every time.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The first month or two that I was going back to church. (J.D. would take the kids to the nursery and I would sneak into the worship center and try my best not to get stuck in a conversation or make eye contact with anyone.) </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">AND, those few months back at church...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Guess what one the songs was that we sang?!?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">You got it. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Your Great Name.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I mean come on God. I am back in church. I am trying (half-heartedly, but I am trying) to get back to the norm and learn how the new me is supposed to be. Do you REALLY have to bring THIS song into it in public??? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I bawled like a baby every time. Couldn't even get most of the words out. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Our worship leader does a good job of changing up the songs we sing every week. But, honestly it just got a little too weird when I started to notice how many weeks in a row we sang that song. I know without a doubt God was using this song to reassure me that I was going to be ok. I was going to allow Him to rescue me from the valley. I just needed to LET GO and LET HIM!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The most important lines for me during all of this 'valley time'...</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #f1c232;"><span class="line line-s">Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_5"></span></span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s">The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name</span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s"> </span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s">Because I was still fearful. Of what though? It has no place.</span></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong><span class="line line-s">The enemy was enjoying in my pity and loved keeping me there. But he has to leave. he has no place in my heart.</span></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_6"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_6"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="line line-s" id="line_6"><div align="center">
<span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="line line-s"><strong>Sick are healed; and the dead are raised; at the sound of your great name</strong></span></span></div>
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<strong>My baby was sick and was healed. It was dead, but is raised to life in Jesus' hands until I can get to Heaven to meet him/her. I need to believe and trust it and let it go. </strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="line line-s"><div align="center">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #f1c232;"><strong><span class="line line-s">Redeemer, My Healer, Almighty</span><span class="line line-s" id="line_20"></span></strong></span></span></div>
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<span class="line line-s"><span style="color: #f1c232; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My savior, Defender, You are My King</strong></span></span></div>
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<strong>God is all of these things. He can be these things for me. Why am I keeping Him from that glory? Why am I running from God when He asked me to run TO HIM with no fear. He will redeem me. He will heal me. He is almighty. He is MY savior. He is my defender. He is my king. I need to let Him be all these things and more for me...whole-heartedly, with everything I am. </strong><br />
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<strong>Over a year later and this song still bring tears to my eyes. It is so powerful and so perfect. I hear it differently now, but that second line as I mentioned above..sick are healed and the dead are raised...it still means the same to me today as it did then. My babies are alive and well and playing at the feet of Jesus.</strong></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I know that not everyone believes the same things on what happens to baby in the womb who die. However, for me to heal and be completely set free of my pain. I had to believe that Jesus had my babies in Heaven and I would meet them one day when I am there. It was not enough for me to believe that there was a problem with the baby so God took it back. I needed more and so I imagine my babies playing at Jesus' feet and waiting for our family to join them there instead of here on Earth. Because Earth is not my forever home and for that I am grateful.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Healing from any event, relationship, trauma, etc. takes time. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Luckily, God gives us grace and allows us to take ourselves out of our pity when we are ready (with His loving nudges of course). </span></strong><br />
<strong>I took my time. </strong><br />
<strong>I needed that time, ok, maybe not ALL that time</strong></span><br /></span><br /></span><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-13719569405623922972012-09-07T10:00:00.000-05:002012-09-07T10:00:02.843-05:00Ravioletti Soup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Ravioletti Soup</strong></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79F3rWYYvTYkzlkh4LjKRcsI0zf8VEqNfirJaAyy4VlmzxTGzeuAmR8oYytJWVg1Pk4W8_esc8g-0DheiJy9YT4iTl2Ymf2BwSgGi6Skw_kmj5dZyOQs-ylentiLhb5zass1lj5pkY17C/s1600/IMG_2414.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg79F3rWYYvTYkzlkh4LjKRcsI0zf8VEqNfirJaAyy4VlmzxTGzeuAmR8oYytJWVg1Pk4W8_esc8g-0DheiJy9YT4iTl2Ymf2BwSgGi6Skw_kmj5dZyOQs-ylentiLhb5zass1lj5pkY17C/s400/IMG_2414.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I found this recipe in a weight watchers magazine a while back. Never wrote down the recipe and lost the magazine. I have no clue if this is how is written by WW. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A few nights ago I decided to just wing it because it is just too easy and too delicious. PLUS, I wanted to pretend it was fall already. So, I attempted to remember how to make it. This is how it all happened. It tasted just as good as I remember it being. I posted the picture above on instagram and a lot of you wanted to know how to make this so...here ya go!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The below made enough for all four of us (two adults and 2 toddlers) to eat dinner with no sides. J.D. and I each had a bowl the next night for dinner. I had it for lunch the day after that and had about half a bowl left.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So...probably makes 6 good sized servings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Ingredients</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1 (32 oz) less-sodium organic chicken broth box or cans</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1 bag cheese ravioletti (the small ravioli or tortellini) *</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1<span> </span>(32 oz) container refrigerated fresh salsa*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2<span> </span>(15 oz) cans no-salt-added organic black beans, rinsed & drained</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3 diced or chunked or shredded cooked chicken breasts*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1-2<span> t</span>easpoon minced garlic</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">¼<span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>cup chopped fresh cilantro</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Reduced-fat sour cream (optional)*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>Directions</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Cook chicken.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bring broth to a boil in a large saucepan over high heat.<span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span></span>Add ravioletti or tortellini, cook 3 minutes.<span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span></span>Stir in salsa and next 3 ingredients.<span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span></span>Cook 5 minutes or until thoroughly heated, stirring occasionally.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stir in cilantro.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Turn off heat.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Ladle into bowls & top with small dollop of sour cream if desired.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>*Helps</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">-Kroger (and sometimes HEB) sells bags of ravioletti and tortellini in the freezer section. I use the whole bag for this recipe. I can't remember how big the bag is, but will check next time I am there and update this! Or you can always use the Buitoni brand in the refrigerated section.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">-I usually dump a whole big jar of salsa (Kroger brand) & add water if I need more juice to the soup</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">-If I plan on making this I will usually make extra chicken earlier in the week or make it in batches and freeze it to make this meal EVEN faster. We prefer the chicken chunked/shredded (as you can see in the picture)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">-The sour cream gives it a creamer soup and adds to the southwest flavor, I usually add a teaspoon or so...a little goes a long way here</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>enjoy!!!</strong></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-20652890032658619242012-09-06T10:00:00.000-05:002012-10-16T14:57:06.679-05:00sad seven part three<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is </span></strong><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">part one</span></strong></a><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> and </span></strong><a href="http://www.turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">part two</span></strong></a><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">...in case you missed them</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">part three.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I am human. I am full of flaws. I don't obey as I should. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Just because God has spoken to me and told me how to climb back up the mountain from the valley...He did not tell me step by step. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I didn't want to try. I didn't want to come out of it. I wanted to be stuck in my pity for as long as I wanted to. I was still depressed. Still numb. still mourning the loss of my baby. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I had to pull it together. FAST. Kennedy was turning T-W-O and I had to throw her a party. I can't just halfway do a party. I have to go overboard. It is what I do. I just can't help it. She looooooooves cookies and so I decided a milk and cookies party was the theme. It was such a great distraction for me. I was buried so deep into planning and creating that I didn't have time to sulk in my pity. Her party turned out super cute (so I thought..haha), but it ended. After the party I was on a cleaning spree. Sunday was church and family time. Then...Monday came. I was alone with the kids and nothing for me to occupy my mind aside from them. They nap 3-4 hours a day. That is a lot of time to sit and cry, watch TV, play on the computer. I was LAZY. I slept and laid on the couch a LOT!! awful!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">After Kennedy's party we went to Florida for a wedding. J.D. was a groomsman and they had a full, jam packed, super fun weekend of plans. I was alone most of the trip. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I had taken with me a book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Will-Carry-You-Sacred-Dance/dp/080546428X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346789841&sr=8-1&keywords=i+will+carry+you+by+angie+smith" target="_blank">I will carry you</a> by Angie Smith. I cried the whole book. I could not stop reading it. I wished I was in her shoes. I wanted to hold my baby. Why couldn't God of let me just see a face to put with this pain? Why will I always wonder what the gender was? Why? why? why? why? Why did God allow this to happen to such an amazing family? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I said before that the why questions weren't ever an issue for me...until this book. If you have not read it or heard about it, you really should check it out. It is beautifully written, heartwarming, heart wrenching, and one of the most uplifting books I have ever read. Yes, I am biased because I needed to read her words and they fit my broken heart so perfectly, but really...check it out!! I will send you my copy if you need one!!!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I shopped. at target. yup. I did.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I laid by the pool, a lot. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I drank wine mid morning with gardettos. (part of our gift from the bride & groom)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I made tazo iced passion tea, unsweetened in my coffee maker in the hotel room.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I worked out on the elliptical.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I went to Jason's Deli alone with my book and cried over my salad. (oh man, I LOVE their salad bar!!).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I locked myself out of my room with my wet hair up in a towel and in my pj's.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I enjoyed being alone. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I missed spending time with my husband.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was in Florida away from everything and I let myself and my mind be free. Had many of talks with God about everything. But, I was doing a lot of talking and not listening or learning from what I was saying. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">We got home from Florida. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I started getting our Halloween costumes together. I made them all from scratch. Yet again...another distraction to keep me busy and not focusing on what I needed to be focused on. However, we HAD to be the Flintstones with homemade costumes and I had to get them made. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">See...my priorities were totally straight and in line, right?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">NOT.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Not too long after Florida we found out I was pregnant again. Not too excited this time. Still way too soon and nervous as all get out. However, a baby in my womb. Could it really be? I can still have a baby? God is willing to allow me to be blessed in this way again after all the anger I had shown? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I called my doctor and they had me go give blood and urine and all that fun stuff. wait a day. then do it again. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">then. the dreaded phone call. "your numbers decreased. you are having another miscarriage" The nurse also told me that if we wanted to try again right away would be our best bet.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">there I go...falling back into that same freakin valley AGAIN!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">which by the way..I had only gotten about half way up the mountain by this point so it wasn't a huge fall. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">But. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was back.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">sulking. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">crying.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">angry.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">depressed.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">bitter.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">mourning.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">numb.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">and probably 672 other emotions thrown in. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Thankfully it was a natural miscarriage and never saw anything because it was so early. I was probably...I think...maybe 6 weeks?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was devastated. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Fast forward a while...because honestly I did not write any of this down and can't remember when everything exactly happened.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">We did try again right away as the nurse had told me. I got pregnant. At home test were both neg and positive. Doctor sent me in for the blood work again. wait a day. do it again. This time they called to say that my numbers started low and only went lower. Another miscarriage. I needed to make an appointment to go talk with my doctor. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Really? I have to go talk about this? Ugh. not what I wanted to do.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">BUT. I did it anyways. She asked a lot of questions and listened to my answers. She told me that insurance would now cover testing if I wanted because I had 3 miscarriages. She offered up counselors that I could talk to. (but in my mind, I was fine. I was good. I didn't need to talk about anything) She explained the blood test and what it would see, what it would tell us, and how I needed to go about doing all the tests. Some were time sensitive with my ovulation cycle some were depending on other things. I was so overwhelmed. I can't even begin to explain it all and come close to getting it right. so. I will leave it at that.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I was so upset and so worried that this would happen again.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, I started praying about the testing and the results. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">IF I did the tests. would it tell me anything? would it find out why? would it keep me from trying to conceive again? would the results be something I could handle?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">IF I didn't do the tests. would I just keep having miscarriages? would it matter? would people think I was crazy for now having them? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I went back and forth for weeks..maybe a month or more.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Then, I decided I needed to go get a physical. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The day I went in for my D&C in July 2011, I weighed 5 lbs less than the day I delivered my son. I had only packed on more pounds since then thanks to my couch dwelling and depression eating. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I went to get a physical with a family practitioner. She was very nice and what-do-ya-know-just-my-luck PREGNANT WITH HER THIRD CHILD! seriously? I wanted to run, but instead I started sweating. I was so upset that I had to talk to this woman about everything and here she sits with child. We talked about everything from weight (yea, I was borderline over weight. knew that one.) to counseling to eating right to exercise and more. She was very nice though. She sent me to blood work to check on everything. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">A week or so went by and the nurse called me with results. I was so nervous. I just knew it was going to be something awful. BUT. it was vitamin D issues. My vitamin D was at a 15 or 16 (or someone in that ballpark). They told me to take X amount of vitamin D a day PLUS go outside for at least 5 minutes a day in the sun. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, I started researching vitamin D. Yes, it is the happy one that comes from the sun, but could it keep me from carrying a child? could it make me gain weight? could it make me this lazy? could it make me feel crazy like I have been? could it play with my mind?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The answer to all the questions above was yes. yes. maybe this could be my answer...to my physical issues. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">What a relief. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Now I was taking vitamin D pills, prenatal vitamins, and daily trips to visit the sunshine. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">At least there was hope for me...physically...to get back on track. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It wasn't a lot to count on, but for now, it was enough. It was just the right GOOD news that I needed.</span></strong></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-71132577791718008322012-09-03T10:00:00.000-05:002012-09-03T20:27:29.509-05:00what's in a name<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>names. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>they can mean something.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>they can be random.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>they can be family.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>they can be anything these days.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I have had a lot of questions about why I named my blog turquoise & love.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Here ya go. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I am about to tell you.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I am a blog stalker. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My best blog friends (that have no idea I exist) are...</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dana @ </span><a href="http://www.housetweaking.com/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://www.housetweaking.com/</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sherry @ </span><a href="http://www.younghouselove.com/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://www.younghouselove.com/</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dana @ </span><a href="http://www.danamadeit.com/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://www.danamadeit.com/</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Joy @ </span><a href="http://wildflowersphotos.com/blog/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://wildflowersphotos.com/blog/</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ashley @ </span><a href="http://www.lilblueboo.com/"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">http://www.lilblueboo.com/</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I seriously would read their blogs and feel like I knew them. They were my friends. J.D. would come home and I would fill him in on their lives and new post for the day. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>So, after seeing how amazing these women are day after day...I decided I needed to create my own little plot of land in the blog world. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Maybe THIS is why I feel like I have so much pressure to be great. These ladies are PURE AMAZINGNESS! If you have never heard of them or checked out their blogs. DO IT NOW...ok well maybe finishing reading this and then go check them out!</strong></span> <br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">oh that is right...you wanted to know why I chose turquoise & love...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Initially, I thought I would do a crafty/home decor/party planning blog. Those are the things I enjoy. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">However, God had greater plans and since he cares about little things. He made sure to point me in a different direction for my blog.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Going through my miscarriage I was down, depressed, blue and just wanted out. Searching through blogs and reading others stories some easier and some way more difficult than my own, helped me more than I could understand. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I wanted to share my story and more importantly how God has used my miscarriages and current pregnancy to His glory. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am in awe almost daily of how He is using my womb to not only change my life, but friends, neighbors, and strangers. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My 'new life' (post miscarriage) starts off as a sad one (blue is the color most associated with sadness) but it is the best sadness that could of ever happened to me. SO...it's a turquoise sad :)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I love ampersands. I think they are fun. unique. the one I chose for the logo is not only pretty, but shows all the loops, tangles, and struggles to find the end result...and well...I just like 'em. showing how i struggled to go from my turquoise to love.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">When God calls you to do something you are supposed to follow. In my case. I HAD to follow. I was either going to end up hurting myself, destroying my family, or well...who knows what. I had to lean on God and wanted to share how I am learning to love my new life, how to live and love again with new purpose, meaning and desires. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">and just in case I lost you, here it is in </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">simple terms...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">turquoise-happy </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">sad</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">&-my struggles from turquoise to love</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">love-learning to love with a new meaning</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">that's all folks. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">that is what's in my name.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-62992920811975867192012-08-31T14:32:00.000-05:002012-10-16T13:30:37.986-05:00sad seven part two<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>If you missed part one, you can read it </strong></span><a href="http://turquoiseandlove.blogspot.com/2012/08/our-first-sad-seven.html"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>here</strong></span></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Part two.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The weekend after the D&C my mom and I headed out of town for the weekend. One of my most favorite cousin's was getting married. I was so nervous about going and seeing people and being around people and having to talk to people. And DUH...going out of town to a family wedding...the only people around me would be family. Why was I so nervous? Oh right...I STILL looked pregnant. Plus super swollen and puffy and fat and gross and still bleeding. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I packed my bag and even went to Target (my go to 'oh crap I need a new thing to wear' store) to try and find something cute and fun. I was trying to be excited about going.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">In the car on the way there my mom and I talked, laughed, ate, stopped to pee a lot, and cried. She shared her stories of her miscarriages in a way that had never made sense to me before. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Growing up, I was angry that my siblings died before I got to meet them. I was alone and no brothers or sisters at home to fight with or argue with or gang up on my parents with. BUT, now I see how much pain they brought her. If I ever mentioned growing up that I wish I had a blood sibling, I wish more than ever that I could take that back. I am sure it broke her heart. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: "Courier New", Courier, monospace; font-size: x-small;"><strong>...need to add in here that I have two older half siblings. I am the baby by 12 and 15 years. they love me and I love them, but to be honest. I grew up alone. we had the same dad, but different mom's and different upbringings. I do love my brother and sister, but when I was little I longed for a blood sibling to grow up with and share things with...</strong></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong><span style="font-family: Courier New; font-size: x-small;"></span></strong> </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong></strong><br />
<strong>My numbness was starting to go away, but I still felt like I wasn't me. I was just going through motions and trying to survive. As nice as it was to be with family and those who love me and had been praying for me...I longed to be back home, on the couch, with my face buried in a pillow crying my eyes out. I was too tired to be strong, but I had to be. It was a wedding. Yes, crying is allowed, but not the kind of crying I was needing. My family on my mom's side (the family I was with) is seriously some of the best people ever. They are southern with a capital S. So down to earth, loving, nurturing, and know just how to love each person with a full heart. We are all sarcastic at heart and I loved and appreciated so much how no one stopped treating me like they always have. Whether they were conscious of it or not, it made me feel a little bit normal...it was SO NICE! </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>After that weekend, J.D. had to go back to work, I was back to being a stay at home mom with two toddlers. Cameron was 3 and Kennedy was almost 2. </strong><br />
<strong>That was the hardest few weeks ever. I was so depressed. </strong><br />
<strong>Did not want to...</strong><br />
<strong>get out of bed. </strong><br />
<strong>make food. </strong><br />
<strong>get off the couch. </strong><br />
<strong>play with them. </strong><br />
<strong>talk to them.</strong><br />
<strong>be around them.</strong><br />
<strong>While they were a constant reminder of how much God has blessed me. It was also a constant reminder of what he took from me. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>I was angry. I was mad. I was hurt. I was confused. I was bitter. I was sad. I was lost. I was still numb. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>I started spanking and yelling and being VERY short tempered with my kids. I know I scared them and hurt them on levels I wish I could take back. I was going through all these feeling that I could not sort out and they were being kids and it was driving me nuts. I knew what I was doing to them and all I could do was cry more and more and more. Their poor sweet souls were so concerned about me. They would just randomly come love on me and tell me hi. It broke my heart even more. You would think it would knock me outta where ever the heck I was, but all it really did was push me farther down.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><strong></strong><br />
<strong>Honestly, looking back and trying to remember those times...I have NO IDEA how the heck we survived. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>It seems as if when bad things happen and you have a hole dug, God uses that time to help you dig a little more and find other things you should work on. As if dealing with a miscarriage was not even on it's own. God starting pulling things up from the past that I THOUGHT I had dealt with, but apparently not. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>It caused nightmares, marriage problems, parenting problems...and only made me more mad and angry at God.</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>I hear a lot that it's OK to ask why. I, for some reason never wanted to know why. I guess because I know God has a reason for everything. However, I wanted to know when...when would this end? when will you make this stop? when could I be normal again?</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>His answer was very clear. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>"You will never be the old you again"</strong><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Isaiah 66:9 was my motto. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuueR8-m638moRqUnaLNOuSwswRzk2UTgHrFbUC-dDLI3A2dwyIXN8XWUAGUOSYJO8QkecdS5HUXNw8PBSW_P-28xrZeKTmVmDIAf6K-h7CajM5UFUX3hk39Yog7g9DdRstv42t-N2s96b/s1600/not+cause+pain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuueR8-m638moRqUnaLNOuSwswRzk2UTgHrFbUC-dDLI3A2dwyIXN8XWUAGUOSYJO8QkecdS5HUXNw8PBSW_P-28xrZeKTmVmDIAf6K-h7CajM5UFUX3hk39Yog7g9DdRstv42t-N2s96b/s640/not+cause+pain.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">source (</span><a href="http://www.kellyadkins.com/gallery/something-new/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">kelly adkins</span></a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">)</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;"></span> </div>
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>It was the verse that kept repeating itself in my mind. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>As if God was telling me all was going to be alright. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>This pain was for something. </strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>It was going to create new life.</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The HARD part was that I had to make myself believe that the 'something new' could be anything. JUST because it says 'born' does not mean you will be blessed with a baby in your womb again. </strong></span><br />
</strong><strong></strong><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was to take this time to work on me and learn from this experience and become a better person from it.</span> </strong></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-64831775715709552862012-08-24T14:00:00.000-05:002012-10-16T13:30:37.987-05:00Our first sad seven<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My husband and I have a weird thing about 7’s in our
relationship. Some we plan, some just happen, all are fun…this one, not so
much.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>This is my story about my 7 month journey through pain,
healing, learning, and growing.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>These are raw memories, emotions, and might not fully make
sense as you read. I am simply remembering, typing through tears, and reliving
these days so I can get them out and help someone else who might need it.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><o:p><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong> </strong></span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Part one.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>May of 2011. I was trying to prepare for Cameron’s 3<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>rd</sup>
birthday party. It was a bug theme and had a lot of little details that I just
had to get done because..Well.. I <s>never</s><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>always go overboard. I kept having racing heartbeats that would come and
go. I thought I was over doing it with stress and trying to make Cameron’s
party perfect. <o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>In June…I think it was the day after Cameron’s party I took
a pregnancy test. It was positive. We were over the moon excited and a tad
SHOCKED!!!<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I didn’t have a doctor since we did a birth center birth
with Kennedy then moved across town. It just was not a priority of mine to find
one since I knew I DID NOT want an OBGYN again (I had a major blow out with my
last one and she kind of ruined me, but that is a whole other story). <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I started asking around my group of friends looking for a
doctor. I wanted to see the baby and get all my initial tests run through an
OBGYN since my insurance covers it 100%. A friend of mine had just found a new OBGYN
and gave me her info. She was covered by my insurance too. I called and got an
appointment for July 8<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>th</sup>.<o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I got big. I got big fast. I felt huge. Many people asking
if it was twins…I was so big. I was showing at 6 weeks, wearing maternity stuff
by 8 weeks. I felt fine. I wasn’t very sick. I was up all night going potty. I
was always cold. I was always hungry. None of these things made me feel as if
anything was wrong. I was pregnant at the same time as so many of my friends,
new and old. My two best friends from elementary, two next door neighbors, a
college friend, and a few others, all due mid-late January 2012. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>As my appointment week got closer, I started getting those
nerves. Ya know..is everything going to be ok? Will there be a heartbeat? Will
my blood pressure be too high? Will I weigh too much? Will my pee be too
yellow? Ok, well…I might be the only one worried about the last one! Ha. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Our 4th<span style="font-size: small;"><sup> </sup>wedding anniversary was July 7<sup>th</sup>.
(one of our 7’s..we got married on 7.7.07) Honestly I cannot tell you what we
did. Did we even celebrate it. Did we have plans? <o:p></o:p></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>My memory is obviously a little hazy about what things went
on. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>July 8<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>th</sup>, <sup><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></sup>today is the first appointment for our 3<sup>rd</sup>
baby…On top of this being our first time meeting this doctor. I can’t sleep, I
can’t eat, I am nervous, panicked, and 10 weeks along.<sup><o:p></o:p></sup></span></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>So nervous that I asked J.D. to leave work early and meet me
at the doctor’s office and asked my neighbor to watch our kids. I didn’t want
to go alone and I didn’t want my kids there. I know now exactly why God was
putting this fear in my heart.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I drop off my kids to play down the street. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I drive about 20 minutes to the doctor’s office with praise
and worship music blaring on the radio. Praying and praying and praying…and
trying to focus on driving!<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Sitting the in the waiting room. Going back to get my stats
checked…of course my bp was through the roof! ALL made me sweaty and super
scared. My new doctor however was SUPER sweet. So calm, loving, and loved my
natural birth stories. The ultrasound room was on the opposite side of the
office. We walked over there, I got changed, she came in and started talking us
through the process, I think, I know she was talking, but I couldn’t hear her.
She tried a couple times to find the baby, but couldn’t. Then she tried again
and there it was. Not nearly as big as it should be. Not moving. Stuck there on
the top left of the screen in a huge sac. She didn’t really say anything and I
think I asked about something being wrong. The way she said it was so calm and
loving...I think she said, “unfortunately there is no heartbeat” <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>She walked out of the dark room and left our baby’s picture
frozen on the screen. I just lost it. I didn’t know what to say, how to feel,
what to do. I was numb in so many ways. I kept glancing over at the screen and
asking J.D. why she left it up there. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Now, I am glad she left the screen up with our baby on it.
We did not get a picture of our baby that day and now all I have is that image
etched into my mind. I can still see it clear as day as if I am still in tears
staring at in that dark room. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>She came back in after what seemed like forever (so grateful
for her understanding of us needing alone time) and talked with us about
options. She told us about the pill I could take, waiting it out, and D&C. She
steered us around the D&C yet since I didn’t want it, said that waiting might
not be a good option since it looked as if our baby had been gone for a little
while, so we decided on the pill. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>We left the doctor’s office..separately…it was the LONGEST
ride home. So alone, looking pregnant, no baby with life left, praying for a
speedy release of the baby so I wouldn’t have to have surgery. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>J.D. stopped to grab us some dinner, get my Rx dropped off,
call my parents and have them pick up our kids for the weekend. I went to get
the kids, fighting back tears. We all got back home and ate more like picked at
our dinner. My parents came to take the kids for a few days so J.D. and I could
be alone and the kids wouldn’t have to witness the birth…if it was going to
happen at home.<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>We probably watched about 30 movies that weekend. We didn’t
want to talk. We didn’t want to touch. We just didn’t know what or how to
process what we had just learned. It was so painful. Movies gave us a little
hour to two break of relief and mind release from everything. Our small group
at church pulled together and brought us meals for like a week or so, which was
SO nice. We literally sat on the couch the whole weekend. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>The following Monday I had to go back in and either bring
our baby in a bag or talk about our next option. Unfortunately, the baby did
not come. We went to the appointment without our baby in the bag, but instead
still in my womb. She offered for me to try another round of pills, but I
decided that it just needed to be done. I was in mental pain, didn’t want my
kids to be around, and wanted J.D. there…timing was against me. I made the call
to have a D&C. I ate breakfast that morning so she sent us home and scheduled
the D&C for Tuesday morning. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I remember feeling a bit of relief knowing that it was
almost over. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>However, far from over it would be..here I am<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>almost 14 months later still balling my eyes
out reliving the emotions. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>D&C went as great as a D&C could go. <o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>
</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Now..I go from just mental pain to adding in physical pain.
lactating, crying, bleeding, bad dreams, hearing baby cries, sleepless nights…all
with no baby in my arms…no baby in my womb (which still looked huge). It was
AWFUL. I was a mess. I was a wreck. I wanted my little ones home, but knew they
shouldn’t see me in this state. I wanted to be near my husband, but couldn’t
really look at him without crying. I lived in the couch with a blanket or
pillow on my belly…back to the movie marathon and friends loving on us with
food deliveries!</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">________________________________________</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></strong> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Did I mention, I hate grammar!?! </strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I suck at it. </strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>I write like I talk and I hope it doesn’t bother others as much as it does my mom and husband <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>Too bad there are no pictures to help break any of this wordy entry up…<o:p></o:p></strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I couldn't make myself reread this and edit it. SO, you get what you get and I hope it makes sense. </span></strong></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5666819687509493146.post-9042931184128946952012-08-20T14:14:00.001-05:002012-08-20T14:15:50.414-05:00my first post<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I have thought long and hard about starting a blog...mainly because I spend a lot of time 'blog stalking' and not focusing on my own life.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I feel so much pressure to make this blog the next 'big' blog out there. BUT really that is self induced. There is no pressure. It's not me to be the showy type and get my name out there. I have failed at so many things in my life because I expect too much of my self. </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, my goal for myself and this blog is to...</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">1. get my story in writing. the yucky no fun, but amazing GOD STORY of my miscarriage/conception road.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">2. keep track of home school </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">3. keep myself accountable</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">4. blog at least 3-4 times a week</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">5. keep it fun. keep it real. keep it me.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I promise those things above to you (whoever you may be) and to me!</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I can do this and I will succeed because I can't fail. This is fun. This is my way of keeping myself stress free...well, OK, maybe just less stressed?!? </span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">YAY! </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">a new chapter in the life of me.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">buckle your seat belt because THIS ride is going to be FUN!!!!</span></strong><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0